Embracing the past to shape our future
As we all together enter this new Aquarian Age and the return of the divine feminine it is a time of rebirth and awakening like no other in history – and so whether we are aware or not, there is for us all a new beginning readily available. Quite often though, unless we have properly healed, released, processed and integrated the old, what is set to enter is likely to do so with turbulence.
In line with the theme of beginning a new, I want to bring a fresh vantage point to a principle that governs the majority of the self-help, personal and spiritual growth work out there. The idea is that if you desire change, growth and improvement in your life then you must quit your old story cold turkey, and immediately adopt a brand new one. Success principles often want us to annihilate all that we have been and lived and replace it all with an unrecognizable version of ourselves, overnight!
I myself have lived by a few main stories in my life and it wasn’t until I embraced them and fully understood their role and meaning in my ascension that I became liberated from them. I have learned that our life is a series of key moments and core themes; all providing us with our unique and divine blueprint for ascension and expansion. From pre-birth, birth, death and beyond, it is all connected, intertwined and purposeful.
When I used to teach clients and students how to re-write their stories my teachings were always heart-cantered, soul lead and steeped in divine wisdom, compassion and love, but even so, when I facilitate these processes today, I do it in a very different and UpGraded way.
The light and dark
As often is the case, working within the personal growth and development guidelines, we are told to focus only on the positive, cast aside the negative and leave the past behind. While this is not totally redundant, there is indeed a time and a place for employing certain hacks and tools to help create desired success, progress and results. Unless however we become aware of and begin to merge them together with this new evolved practice of embracing our history, soul path, wounds and weak points, I have come to understand, we are missing out a huge chunk of the equation. In doing so, we run the risk of perpetuating unresolved trauma, both familial and our own as well as harmful ancestral patterning. Be brave in the pursuit of knowing yourself, especially the parts you deem inappropriate, weak, shameful, or ugly.
Bring it back
Look closely and candidly at the past experiences or patterns of behaviour that continue to trouble you. Let yourself be brave and speak your truth either to a trusted professional or in your journal. Explore your pain points, unhelpful habits, biggest fears and also the themes that continue to flow through your life. Make time to lay it all on the table, even the stuff that may trigger discomfort. And if you are willing, dig deeper beneath the surface. Open yourself up to the possibility that there may be information you can access that will assist you to crack some of the codes that have illuded you for the longest time. Decoding these mysteries can shed light on your blocks, patterns and recurring obstacles and bring you to a higher state of self-awareness. Knowing how to observe and decode your inner world, is literally like winning the personal growth lottery; the crème de la crème of self and life mastery.
Let’s talk about it
In the personal growth and even spiritual community, it can be seen as ‘playing the victim’ if you express and share about a difficult or undesirable experience. ‘You can’t create a new reality with the old mindset and energy’, you’ll often hear. ‘You can’t create a new life if you keep telling that same old story’. There is some accuracy in these statements if you look at them from one particular lens. But as a standalone principle, this ‘don’t speak it so you don’t anchor it’ advice is flawed. Keeping things bottled up can lead to unresolved trauma and emotional pain becoming suppressed, which can eventually turn into a myriad of toxic traits. Know that being present with what happened to you, your relatives, or your ancestors can be the key to not only yours but a generation’s worth of liberation. When you do the tough work, you are freeing the seven generations that lived before you as well as the next seven generations to follow you.
Your story matters
Your story makes you who you are. Your story is valuable. It is a story of survival, surpassing and enduring. As humans, we reap many benefits from expressing our own and hearing about others’ experiences, struggles and triumphs. The most value is often imparted by someone who has processed their pain and turned it into wisdom. On this healing, awakening and transformation journey, it is necessary to go through a series of stages, the first and absolutely necessary one is to speak the pain, worry, concern, shame, guilt, fear and all the things that arise without vetting, manipulating or minimizing any of it. Some facilitators may deem this to be unhelpful and hindering in manifesting a new experience, creating change and success and the like. They would not be the appropriate place for you to start this journey with, but can perhaps come in handy later down the line when you are ready for more of a goal-orientated and motivational approach.
R. E. S. P. E. C. T
To begin with find a safe and appropriate space to do the initial work and go all in. I write much more about this process in my book I AM UpGrading and I fully acknowledge how painful, challenging and overwhelming it can feel. If however, done well, in a safe and encompassing manner, you’ll be surprised how fast and easy it can flow. Forcing ourselves to feel a certain way because it’s not spiritual or high vibrational to talk about negative stuff that happened to us and traumatised us not dissimilar to self-inflicted abuse. When you or someone else tries to convince you to not feel how you feel, you are abusing yourself, over and over. This work requires the utmost respect and patience and a willingness to sit with, for as long as it takes, the good, the bad and the ugly aspects involved. Once what resides within us feels fully heard and honoured by another person and once we can do the same for ourselves over time – we can move into converting our shame, fears and wounds into pride, empathy, kindness, compassion, courage and wisdom.
So rather than burying or running away from your past, embrace it, feel it, love it and slowly and gently if you need to, forgive it. When you do this kind of work to integrate your light and dark aspects, you untether yourself from any hold the past may have on you. This is true freedom. If you feel drawn to this kind of work and would like to arrange a no obligation chat with me to explore how it might look for you to work with me as your facilitator, feel free to get in touch to request a complimentary session.
In loving honour of you and your journey, Maria K